Our Crystal Lake Divorce Attorney Discusses Parenting Plans for the Teen Years

Our Crystal Lake Divorce Attorney gavel and booksA Crystal Lake divorce attorney can explain that as your child ages, a new parenting plan may need to be implemented. This strategy can take your individual child’s needs and development into consideration.

Factors That Affect Teen Parenting Plans

A Crystal Lake divorce attorney may discuss the trend in children of this age becoming more independent. Peer relationships may be more important during this stage of development. During this age, some children begin to experiment with alcohol, drugs, sex, and truancy. Parents who do not cooperate together may be more likely to see their children involved in these activities as the focus is diverted from the children or the children learn to pit the parents against each other. Another factor that may come into play during this time is a child’s emotional state. He or she may experience sadness or depression over his or her parents’ divorce. As the child emotionally develops, he or she may grasp the realities of divorce, such as the parents not getting back together or the thought of having less money available for college.

Increased Supervision

To account for this trying time in their children’s lives, parents should try to increase supervision. They should establish clear boundaries and expectations. They should also serve as role models to their children. Consequences should be clearly stated and executed when children’s behavior does not align with these expectations.

Communication

A Crystal Lake divorce attorney can explain that the parents’ relationship with each other during this time will help predict a child’s future relationships and ability to communicate. Divorcing parents must strive to remain in contact regarding the child’s development and behavior.

Legal Assistance from a Crystal Lake Divorce Attorney

If you would like assistance in drafting a parenting plan for teen children, a Crystal Lake divorce attorney may be able to help. Contact the Stetler Law Group at (815) 529-4554 to schedule a consultation.

 

Your Crystal Lake Family Lawyer Discusses Child Contact Guidelines

Crystal Lake family lawyer Your Crystal Lake family lawyer can explain that parental behaviors have a strong influence on how their children emotionally adjust. This is particularly true after their parents divorce. Here are a few guidelines that your Crystal Lake family lawyer may provide you regarding having meaningful contact with your children after divorce.

Put Your Children’s Needs First

Your children’s needs have to be at the forefront of your attention during this emotionally trying time. Ensure that their emotional needs are met and that your children have ample opportunity to develop in a normal fashion.

Provide Frequent Contact

Your Crystal Lake family attorney can explain that children thrive when both parents are involved in their lives. Help them by providing continuing, frequent contact with both parents.

Keep It Positive

All contact should be positive and pleasant between parents and children. This contact should provide them with a positive sense of self. Time with parents should include some fun, but it should also include normal and routine activities like laundry, grocery shopping and household chores. Provide recreational time as well, such as going to the library, beach or park. At the same time, children should be given a chance to form rituals and memories with their parents, such as by having certain customs at holidays or starting a collection together.

Create a Schedule

Provide your child with a calendar that shows the time that he or she has with each parent so that you can provide consistency and certainty.

Legal Assistance

If you would like more information on children contact guidelines, contact Crystal Lake family lawyer Michael R. Stetler by calling (815) 529-4554.

Crystal Lake Divorce Mediation Lawyer Explains Alimony

Your Crystal Lake divorce mediation lawyer will want you to understand how spousal support (alimony) works in a divorce. It is, generally, payment from one partner to another following a divorce that will allow the spouse with lesser income to maintain some level of his or her standard of living. Here are some things the judge may take into account when making decisions regarding alimony.

Can My Spouse and I Handle Our Own Divorce Without Attorneys?

There is not a legal requirement that mandates that you and your spouse must have your own family law attorneys in order to effectuate your divorce. If you cannot afford to hire a lawyer, you may choose to handle your divorce on your own if your divorce is not too complicated and you are willing to put in the work. Nevertheless, a Crystal Lake divorce attorney can help you navigate the paperwork.

Contact a Crystal Lake Divorce Attorney

For help with your divorce paperwork, call a Crystal Lake divorce attorney from the Stetler Law Group at (815) 529-4554.

 

Divorce in Illinois and Contact Schedules

divorce in illinoisWhen parents are going through divorce in Illinois, one of the primary considerations is how to continue to parent the children in a responsible manner. In order to establish expectations and consistency, parents may establish a contact schedule of timesharing. Here are some general tips on crafting a timesharing agreement how to get divorced in an amicable fashion.

Consider Tomorrow

The inclination for many people who are going through divorce in Illinois is to think about today. They may want the house to have immediate shelter but forget about the hefty mortgage payments. They may want money in bank accounts and not fight for retirement earnings. The same thing sometimes happens with timeshare agreements. The parents may only think about their preferences and their child’s needs today and forget about tomorrow. An infant’s needs are very different from those of a teenager.

Consistency Is Best

Even if two people going through divorce in Illinois are currently getting along, it is important for the future that a set schedule be established. This provides consistency and predictability for both the parents and child. The parents may be able to make modifications that suit them now, but if they need something to enforce later, it is best to establish a plan while the parents are getting along.

Consider the Role of Each Parent During the Marriage

If one parent was the primary caregiver during the marriage, it is important to maintain this role when getting a divorce in Illinois.

Both Parents Should Have Frequent and Continuing Contact with the Child

Absent abuse or other extraordinary circumstances, it is usually in the child’s best interests to have frequent and continuing with both parents after they get divorced. If a parent believes the other parent should not have this unfettered access, he or she is usually responsible for positively demonstrating this to the court. The burden is high, requiring the parent to show why having such contact would put the child’s emotional, mental or physical health at risk.

Parenting Time Should Include Recreational Time

The timesharing agreement should include time for fun, as well as time for ordinary household activities such as chores, grocery shopping and ordinary errands and outings.

Legal Assistance with Divorce in Illinois

If you would like more information about how to get divorced in an amicable manner, contact the Stetler Law Group by calling (877) 812-4273.

Our Woodstock Family Lawyer Addresses Grief and Divorce

During a divorce, our Woodstock family lawyer often sees clients who are dealing with a plethora of emotions, including grief and anger, at the loss of their marriage. They often do not recognize that a divorce is similar to death as people face their divorce and deal with grief.

Grief During a Divorce

In addition to anger, the grief process includes numerous stages, such as denial, pain, bargaining, depression, fear and finally, acceptance. A person might jump around between these stages, and two people will likely react to the same event in different ways. If you and your partner are not at the same place in the grieving process, you will probably struggle with negotiating your differences during the divorce. You will likely need time to sort through this process. Our lawyers in Woodstock IL can provide you with suggestions on how to do this. In some cases, one spouse simply believes that their partner does not care about the divorce. He or she cannot move forward unless he or she thinks that the other person is also transitioning through the grieving process. Although he or she is likely grieving as well, they are showing their feelings much differently, even hiding them behind a stone wall or talking incessantly to cover their pain. Open communication in these cases can help the couple deal with their pain and move forward with the process. Discuss your concerns about communication with our Woodstock family lawyer.

Anger During a Divorce

People sometimes use anger during a divorce instead of addressing the root emotion that lies beneath the anger. They might default to anger for one or more of the following reasons:

  • They view the divorce as an attack against them, lashing out in response.
  • They struggle to identify with and communicate the underlying emotions, feeling that they will instead appear weak.
  • They use anger as a defensive mechanism.
  • They are frustrated or uncertain about the future.

While it’s easy to respond in anger when someone rages at you, it’s usually better to do nothing and to leave the situation. While you can acknowledge the other person’s feelings calmly, you do not need to waste your energy by reacting to tirades. He or she will see that you are refusing to engage, which can help defuse the situation. If both parties are angry, the divorce will take longer as you will not be able to negotiate. However, refusing to react is admittedly difficult, especially since you are dealing with your own frustrations about the divorce.

Call Our Woodstock Family Lawyer

For help in addressing the emotional gap between you and your partner during a divorce, contact our lawyers in Woodstock IL from the Stetler Law Group at (877) 812-4273.

Dividing Household Furnishings

mchenry divorce attorneys Relaxed couple sitting on sofa after a fightThe standard of value used for dividing most marital assets does not work as intended when dividing household items. This is because the market value of these items does not accurately represent their true value.

Fair Market Value Does Not Apply

In other words, the cost of replacing household items such as kitchen utensils will far exceed the fair market value of the items. For example, a used coffee maker may fetch around $5 on the market, but may cost as much as $30 to replace. This difference between market value and replacement cost can cause arguments over these kinds of assets, say McHenry divorce attorneys.

Another good illustration is a dining room table. Make the assumption that a replacement table will cost $1,500. However, the market value of the dining room table in the marital home is approximately $100. If one spouse takes the table, the other could argue that the table will have to be replaced. To obtain enough financial assets to make the replacement, the spouse will want the table valued at $1,500.

The spouse with the table may counter-argue that the replacement value should reflect the cost of purchasing a used table and not the cost of a brand new table. This kind of argument can become a significant conflict during settlement negotiations or mediation.

Obstacles to Valuation of Household Goods

If the couple wants to stick with the economic standard of value for their household goods, it is possible for them to value their household goods. For example, they could research the value of all of their household items using internet auction sites and second-hand stores. Alternatively, they could hire an independent authority to appraise their household items. However, each of these approaches are time-consuming. An expert appraiser’s fees may also be out of proportion to the value of the items themselves.

Creative Solutions

Perhaps the best approach for dividing household goods is to avoid the issue of market value and instead divide the items by utility. For instance, one person can take the linens from the guest room, while the other takes the linens from the master bedroom. One spouse can claim the dishes reserved for special occasions and the other takes the everyday dishes. Dividing household goods by utility rather than value can be an efficient way to resolve the issue, according to McHenry divorce attorneys

Working with McHenry Divorce Attorneys

If you would like to speak with a lawyer about your pending divorce, please call the office of the Stetler Law Group at (815) 529-4554.

How to Share Parenting Effectively After a Divorce

Woodstock Family LawyerA Woodstock family lawyer will give advice to help with sharing parenting post-divorce.

Don’t Try to Exhibit Too Much Control

If your former spouse doesn’t feed the child a diet that you think is healthy, you can’t do much about it. Your Woodstock family law attorney will explain that you are able to ensure that the child is fed in the way you prefer when you are caring for the child. You can enroll your child in the school breakfast and lunch programs, and make certain that they’re eating the meals. You can give vitamins and minerals to the child and keep up-to-date with doctor visits. Keep track of everything.

There are different viewpoints between you and your ex-spouse. Some strategies are more successful than others. Unless your ex-spouse is engaged in illegal activities, the court is not going to interfere. If you truly believe that the ex-spouse is placing the child’s health in danger, you can take steps and inform the court.

Maintain a Schedule

It is important that the child sees you as reliable. You don’t want the child to be standing around waiting for you for hours on end. That can only harm the child and your relationship with him or her. Divorce is hard enough on the children. Making matters worse with unreliability is not going to help them. What this will also do is make the child believe that you don’t care about the relationship. If you fail to adhere to a schedule, it can also cause friction with the ex-spouse as well. Make certain that you are either on time or if lateness is unavoidable, you call first. This will help the relationship with both the ex-spouse and the child.

Speak to a Qualified Woodstock Family Lawyer

If you have questions about strategies to share parenting after a divorce, a Woodstock family law attorney can help. Call the Stetler Law Group at (815) 529-4554 today.

A Crystal Lake Family Law Attorney Discusses Contact Visits

Crystal Lake Family Law Attorney Divorce is difficult enough for children to cope with without being set by one parent against the other. A Crystal Lake family law attorney goes into more detail in the paragraphs below.

Spy Network: Your Crystal Lake Family Lawyer’s View

When discussing the purpose of contact visits, your Crystal Lake family lawyer must often remind parents that these are not intended to serve as a means for one parent to keep watch over the other. Using children in this capacity places them squarely between two parents who are, in the children’s view, fighting. This leads to divided loyalties, fear of rejection by one parent or the other and increases the feeling of loss. Whether or not parents are on amicable terms with each other, the children should never see hostility between them if at all possible. Even if only for their sakes, be kind to each other. Simply put, it’s a matter of using one’s good sense and following that ancient guiding principle: “As ye would have others do unto you, do ye also unto them.”

Work Together

It is important for parents to work with each other to resolve any emotional or other difficulties that their children might undergo after contact visits. Further, any decisions concerning discipline of the children, if necessary, should be arrived at through mutual cooperation between the parents.

Your Children’s Future

As children grow, they need the support, love and guidance of both their parents. This holds whether or not the parents remain married. By keeping the contact visits as smooth, uneventful and comfortable as possible, trauma is reduced and the children’s emotional development can progress with as little disruption as possible.

Courtesy and Respect

When dropping off or picking up children from contact visits, parents should do their best to maintain a cordial attitude toward one another. Be on time whether dropping off or picking up whether at the other parent’s home or somewhere else as desired. This might be a shopping mall, supermarket or other place where everyone can feel comfortable. Allowing the children to do a little shopping might ease any tensions.

For Additional Information

Your Crystal Lake family law attorney can provide you with many suggestions that can help you as you plan and conduct contact visits. If you need help, call Stetler Law Group at (815) 529-4554 today.

10 Common Divorce Mistakes From Your Woodstock Family Lawyer

Every divorce has the potential to slide into anger and resentment no matter how well you might get along with your spouse. When those emotions aren’t kept in check, couples can lash out and further complicate the proceedings. The following is a list of 10 common mistakes divorcing couples make. These are the mistakes you should strive to avoid as recommended by your Woodstock family lawyer.

 

 

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